8 Completely Arbitrary 2015 NCAAF Bold Predictions

Last year there was Stan Hooper. This year I'm taking things into my own hands and, after an obligatory glance at preseason rankings and strengths of schedules, I will make some bold predictions about the upcoming season. Here are EIGHT things that will happen this season:

1. North Carolina will be this year's fraud ACC team
There's always at least one! We play two FCS teams. Let that sink in. We could go 6-6 and not make a bowl game because WE PLAY TWO FCS TEAMS. We'll still manage to blow at least 4 games, finish 8-4, and somehow win the Coastal in a convoluted 3-way tie with Miami and Georgia Tech. Maybe throw Va Tech in there after they win 7 games without ever scoring more than 10 points in any one game.

We will then get blown out by Clemson in the ACC Championship game and lose to an SEC team by 28+ points in the subsequent bowl game. That is the ceiling for our season. To repeat: this is the best case scenario. A 4+ touchdown loss to end the year.

2. Georgia will win the SEC

They're definitely winning the SEC East, and the West could easily cannibalize itself to the point where some (relatively) mediocre team makes the SEC Championship game and gets pile-driven in Atlanta by the dawgs, the dawgs that die! Like, every year. Because they're inbred. Just like Georgians! Of course, barring 2 SEC teams making the College Football Playoff (CFP), this does imply the following...

3. Alabama will miss the CFP
This seems unthinkable, but (as you probably already know), the SEC West is freaking stacked. All 7 teams are in my preseason Top 25, and I wouldn't be surprised if they all ended the season there as well. Alabama will lose at least 2 games, and potentially a 3rd in the SEC Championship game (if they get that far). These fans will be awfully disappointed:

Of course, this will leave Tammy in a bittersweet emotional state, since Alabama won't be vying for the national title, yet neither will her beloved Tigers.

Quick aside: The Nick Saban breakfast is absolutely phenomenal. Two Oatmeal Creme Pies and a cup of coffee, every day. I highly recommend it; it has transitioned nicely from my college days to now having a full-time job. TRUST THE PROCESS.

4. Al Golden will be fired after Miami goes 6-6 again
But they'll still beat us and win a share of the Coastal championship. It will no longer be the AL GOLDEN ERA BABYYYYYYYYYYY.

5. The ACC will be the conference left out of the CFP
I'll admit this isn't very bold. Big 10 (Ohio St), Big 12 (Baylor or TCU), SEC (Anyone), Pac-12 (hopefully Oregon's BOOM offense) all seem like locks. Florida St will be a middling Top 25 team, only bested by middling Top 25 Clemson. No one from the Coastal has any chance. So we continue to turn in to the Big East! Except apparently we can beat SEC teams in bowl games (but not Carolina. Remember we're losing by 30 sometime in late December).

BOOM.

6. Tennessee will beat Florida
It's gotta happen eventually right?
Editor's Note: This is not bold either. Tennessee is currently favored in that game:

7. Ezekiel Elliot will win the Heisman Trophy
The QB situation in Columbus is a good problem to have, and all due respect to Braxton Miller, J.T. Barrett, Cardale Jones, and Terrelle Pryor, but the reason Ohio St won it all last year was Ezekiel Elliot. That being said, it might go something like this:

Heisman Trust: The trophy goes to Ezekiel Elliot! Shawn Oakman: No it doesn't Trust: Nvm it goes to Shawn Oakman pic.twitter.com/ZSS2cjjzNE

— Michael Stock (@lswmovies) August 17, 2015

Editor's Note: Still not bold. Elliot is the second-most likely Heisman winner, per 5Dimes:

While we're at it: two QBs who aren't even guaranteed to play meaningful minutes are BOTH in the list of top 10 most likely players to win the award given to the most outstanding player in all of college football. This incredible wealth of talent makes the last prediction pretty easy...

8. Ohio St will repeat as National Champions

With a relatively weak conference slate (at least compared to the SEC or Pac-12), the Buckeyes should cruise to 12-0 and easily make the CFP. While they won't have the element of surprise this time, once there they'll cruise to a second straight title behind 4 players who are/were considered front-runners for the Heisman (2 QBs, a QB turned WR, and a RB that I think will actually win it this year).

Editor's Note: Given the last three "bold" predictions, I'm sure you'll be shocked to learn that tOSU is in fact the outright favorite:

With that all being said, some teams have a chance at a better season than others. But right now, everyone is at 0-0. No one has a loss yet. So for now... ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK.